You may think from the title of this blog post, that this is going to be about a wild trip in the UK, with drugs and alcohol and hallucinations… Unfortunately (or well, fortunately, cause I wouldn’t want that either?) it is not about that. At all.
This post is about my fear of doing things.
First let me start by telling you that I am an avid planner. I love planning stuff. I love making lists and notes and carrying notebooks with me at all times. I have pages and pages with notes on blog posts I want to do, things I want to achieve.
I had this blog post idea about two months ago. And here comes my problem: I plan but I don’t do. And for a while I’ve been wondering what the heck is holding me back. Updating my blog doesn’t take THAT long and I actually want to do it, so why am I procrastinating and finding excuses not to do it?
Well. You see: If I don’t do something, then I cant be disappointed with how it came out. If I don’t write a blog post, I can’t be disappointed in how lacking in coherent thought it seems or how it didn’t measure up to my expectations of it. But with that thought process comes two problems:
- I am being controlled by my fear
- I will never actually do anything
And I freaking hate that. I loathe it. I want to do things, I want to write blog posts and novels and poems and do all of those other things that my fear is keeping me from doing.
So. I’m gonna try my damn hardest to do things that I wan’t to do.
That’s all I wanted to say really. Hope you’re all well out there.
I wrote this blog post while listening to this